


maybe i won't

by krizzlesandblues



Series: across planes and dimensions [2]
Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Time Travelling AU, backstory for jinwoo's pov, why is this more fleshed out . . . .
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-29 05:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17197442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krizzlesandblues/pseuds/krizzlesandblues
Summary: in contrast to mino who runs to find, jinwoo runs away from his.





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, as what the tags mentioned, this is a backstory for Jinwoo. I have to admit I don't even understand why is this even more fleshed out than the first story . . . . sometimes I really don't understand myself.  
>   
> Anyway, while it's pretty recommended to at least read the first story in this series, you may read this as a stand-alone story. If you have any questions, you may slide on my DM's [here](https://twitter.com/cieruleaxxe).  
> Again, Merry Christmas everyone *^^*

Jinwoo had long since stopped travelling across time and space. He preferred to stay in the apartment with the cats, only going out to buy groceries or answer repair calls from customers who wish to customize their laptops or computers.  
  
He mostly stays with Mino, looking out for him every time he travels through time. In the past, he might have joined him, but now . . . he thinks it’s better to stay and wait.  
  
-  
  
At least, even though he has been totally inactive, he found his own version of peace. True, the thrill of jumping from one dimension to another was something he’d missed, but he was over it now.  
  
Or rather, he was glad he could finally say it was time for him to hang the microphone.  
  
For the sake of someone’s life.  
  
-  
  
After feeding the cats, Jinwoo goes out to buy some groceries since the fridge was running out of good stuff. He’d remembered he had to buy Mino some jelly juice; he’d been craving for it for days anyway.  
  
After purchasing the stuff, he walks back to his apartment—when something grabs his attention.  
  
“Congratulations, Mr. Lee,” a man says, shaking a certain tall man’s hand. “The exhibit has been a success.”  
  
“Oh, don’t congratulate me,” the tall man replies, chuckling. “Congratulate my friend; he’s the one who’s successful.”  
  
Jinwoo freezes, dread and terror filling him.  
  
“Ah—Kang Seungyoon, that photographer right?”  
  
“Yes, he’s my good friend actually.”  
  
Jinwoo slightly turns his head to look, and he nearly drops the bags of food to the concrete.  
  
His hair might be peach-colored now, and dressed in casual-yet-smart outfit, but Jinwoo is sure it is him.  
  
Those eyes, that face, that _smile_.  
  
Jinwoo forgets how to breathe.  
  
And in the next second, he sprints back to the apartment.  
  
-  
  
Jinwoo swings the door open harshly, uncaring and sudden. He dumps the bags of food on the couch and marches up to his room, a storm of curses in his head.  
  
He doesn’t even notice Mino, who is lounging by the windowsill with the cats, and now running after him.  
  
“Hyung!” Mino calls out. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Jinwoo completely ignores him; he stuffs the first clothes he sees in his closet in a duffel bag in quick movements.  
  
“Hyung,” Mino tries again, standing behind Jinwoo and unsure whether to hold him down or not. “Why are you packing your stuff? What’s going on?!”  
  
“He’s here,” Jinwoo mutters, rummaging through the drawers for his phone and wallet.  
  
“Who?” Mino asks, confused.  
  
“He’s here, Mino,” Jinwoo echoes, panic in his voice.  
  
“For Pete’s sake, hyung—who?!”  
  
“ _Seunghoon!_ ” Jinwoo exclaims, finally looking at Mino with wide, fearful eyes. “Lee Seunghoon is in this damn universe, Mino—I have to leave _before_ he sees me!”  
  
Mino stills, his eyes wide with shock with what he heard. Jinwoo continues rummaging through the drawers and stuffs all his wallets and power bank inside the duffel bag. Meanwhile, Jinwoo’s cats, probably sensing their owner’s tension, leap to the bed and try to mess with the bags.  
  
“Where will you go, hyung?” Mino asks quietly, still stunned.  
  
“I don’t know, Mino, I don’t know!” Jinwoo tells him frantically as he checks the bag’s contents. “Jeju, Wangdo, or maybe back in Imja—I don’t know. But I have to get out of here.”  
  
Mino stays silent, and, fishing his phone, he presses a number. Meanwhile, Jinwoo tries to coax his cats not to jump inside the duffel bag.  
  
“No, Rey, don’t come with me,” Jinwoo begs, amidst the pleading mews. “You can’t come with me too, Bei, i’m sorry.”  
  
The cats continue to protest as they rub themselves in their owner’s arms, wanting to go. But Jinwoo cannot take them—at least for now.  
  
Mino picks up the cats in his arms. “The taxi’s outside, hyung,” Mino says softly. “I called one for you.”  
  
Jinwoo’s heart breaks at the sight of Mino’s sad eyes, along with the cats reaching out to him. He doesn’t want to go and leave them alone, but he had to.  
  
He knows Mino understands that, yet he also knows how much it saddens him.  
  
Picking up his bag, he hugs Mino tight with his free arm, the cats squished in between.  
  
“I’ll miss you, hyung,” Mino murmurs, his voice slightly breaking.  
  
“I’ll miss you, too,” Jinwoo whispers. “Take care of the cats for me. And—send my warmest regards to Yoon.”  
  
Mino nods, and pulls back from the embrace. “Tell me where you stay, at least.”  
  
“I will.”  
  
Jinwoo then heads out of the apartment, bag in hand, and quickly opens the taxi’s door. With one last wave to Mino, he gets in and tells the driver to drive him to the airport.  
  
-  
  
“All passengers please lock your seatbelts as the plane will takeoff soon. Again, all passengers . . .”  
  
Jinwoo stares at the airplane’s window somberly, his heart heavy and pained all over again.  
  
_This can’t be real, this can’t be happening._  
  
All those years, he’d stopped travelling across different places with Mino for a certain reason. It had been extremely difficult for him—travelling had been a part of his life as much as it is to Mino’s—but he’d known he had no other choice.  
  
And now— _this_.  
  
Sometimes Jinwoo’s convinced that time-travelers like him are cursed one way or another, in exchange for their ability. They meet various persons along the way, know more about the world, and the mere passage of time is a treasure that cannot be replaced. However, there is a certain person—a certain soul—that they will always meet, no matter the dimension, no matter the timeline.  
  
They call that soul ‘soulmate.’ Or ‘other half.’  
  
Jinwoo calls it his personal dose of hell.  
  
-  
  
Several hours later, the plane finally touches the airport, and Jinwoo goes down along with the passengers. The familiar air of Jeolla is sweet to him—a remnant of his hometown.  
  
He plans to just take a bus ride all the way to Wangdo—he’s in no rush anyway—and maybe work there as a fisherman or something, just to pass the time. He won’t inform Mino yet of his whereabouts; he’ll tell him that when he’s fully settled.  
  
But right now, aside from finding a place to stay in Wangdo, he wants to escape from the reality that was closing down on him, a nightmare he was still to wake up from.  
  
-  
  
“Back here in Jeolla, I see,” the old manager comments as he sees Jinwoo restocking the crates, his voice thick with the accent.  
  
“For a while, I guess,” Jinwoo says with a laugh, in the same dialect. He notes that his native tongue had gone rusty; maybe it is because of his constant use of standard Korean back in Seoul.  
  
“You might as well stay here for a while, kid,” the manager says, chuckling. “You look better here than off in Seoul.”  
  
Jinwoo smiles half-humorlessly. “Maybe.”  
  
\--  
  
**_Early 1930’s_**  
  
_Jinwoo and Mino are having the best time of their lives, to say the least._  
  
_New York was probably the perfect city to unwind and enjoy the city life, without any pretensions. Parties hosted by the city’s elites, rise of modern arts in museums, haute fashion and groovy, good music—it was New York for them._  
  
_Mino was beyond seventh heaven with the paintings, Jinwoo found his calm—in such an ironic way—in the midst of social butterflies and true socialites._  
  
_One night, they were invited to a high class party in a mansion by the Manhattan, hosted by one of the wealthiest men (and probably wildest, in Mino’s opinion) in the city. Admittedly, they haven’t met the host yet, so they took this opportunity to see who it was._  
  
_Inside the lavish hall, they met a few familiar faces, persons they’d mingled with in other gatherings and sometimes in intercity meetings. Anonymity was almost a lie for them, after all, as both were investment bankers in Wall Street. At the same time, lack of anonymity was a charm for connections—especially for celebrations like this._  
  
_Later on, the attendees roared with excitement as sparkly confetti fell upon them, and the mysterious host made his appearance along with his cousin._  
  
_Jinwoo’s breath was taken away at the sight of his face._  
  
_“Ah, darling ladies and dashing gentlemen,” the host greeted them, a wide smile on his handsome face. “I welcome you all! Quite a surprise that all of you made an appearance—and a delight for my cousin and I. Have fun, please, let’s groove the night away!!”_  
  
_At once, the best champagne was served around and groovy music echoed across the halls. Meanwhile, Jinwoo was in a daze, unable to take his eyes off the host, until Mino nudged him to start roaming around._  
  
_Jinwoo managed to mingle along and share some small talk with others, but his mind still lingered on that host’s relaxed face and magnetic charm. It wasn’t until he was by a corner, picking some chips on the buffet table, where the host cornered him._  
  
_“Having fun?” he breathed on Jinwoo’s neck, making the latter jump (and almost spill his chips) in surprise._  
  
_“W-well, yeah,” Jinwoo stuttered, smiling awkwardly at him. “You surprised me, though.”_  
  
_The host laughed, his eyes almost disappearing, and Jinwoo realized, a little belatedly, that he might be of Korean descent or some sort._  
  
_“Do forgive me,” the host said, his voice smooth. “You took my attention earlier, so I wondered if I should come and meet you.”_  
  
_Jinwoo’s heart beat thrice its normal rate, and prayed his face wasn’t red with embarrassment—and thrill._  
  
_“My name is Lee Seunghoon, by the way,” he said. “And you must be?”_  
  
_“Jinwoo,” Jinwoo muttered. “Kim Jinwoo.”_  
  
_Seunghoon’s eyes widened in recognition. “Ah—that banker! You’re with the famed Song ‘golden finger’ Mino, correct?”_  
  
_“Yes,” Jinwoo nodded, scrambling for purchase internally. “He’s a dear friend of mine.”_  
  
_Seunghoon hummed thoughtfully. “To be honest, I sent out the invitations for both of you as your recent accomplishments really amazed me. Never would have thought,” he stepped closer to Jinwoo, cupping the latter’s already blushing face, “I would see such a beautiful face as well.”_  
  
_Jinwoo literally forgot how to speak at this point. This man—Lee Seunghoon—was **obviously** a dangerous predator, and **heaven help him** if he couldn’t recover._  
  
_“Such words,” Jinwoo managed to (choke) say, his voice slightly breaking. Seunghoon chuckled, and inched his face closer._  
  
_“I know what I am saying, Jinwoo,” he breathed, his face so close Jinwoo could literally feel his breath fanning his face. “Mind if I introduce you to some of my friends?”_  
  
_A little more time-travels later, and Jinwoo realized that this fateful meeting in New York would change him—irrevocably._  
  
\--  
  
Jinwoo manages to stay in Wangdo for almost a week, without any problems at all. Every now and then he receives a message from Mino, messages that sometimes he just lets it stay on the phone. He knows it’s better for him to stay this way, away from the poisonous charm that haunted him for years.  
  
One day, the old manager gathers them at the common room, about to announce important news. For some weird reason, Jinwoo does not feel good about this, yet he ignores it.  
  
“Young friends, the new owner of this fish plant will come soon any time today or tomorrow,” the old manager tells them once they are all gathered. “I have no idea why or when exactly, but be prepared.”  
  
Jinwoo remembers that a few days ago, the fish plant was taken over by a wealthy young man from Seoul, thus the visit probably.  
  
“Who is this owner, boss?” one of the workers ask.  
  
“Uh . . . I forgot,” the manager says, laughing in embarrassment. “Something like . . . hmm . . . Lee? I guess?”  
  
Jinwoo’s heart stops beating for a second, then beats faster.  
  
_Please, no._  
  
“Lee? Like one of those influential Lee’s?”  
  
“Maybe that Lee Seunghyun guy, isn’t he that business magnate in Seoul?”  
  
“Ah—right!” the old manager says, finally remembering. “Thanks for that prompt—but not that Lee. It’s Lee Seunghoon, I hear. That guy who’s a multimillionaire from Busan . . . “  
  
Jinwoo feels cold to the bone, and he feels himself slipping away.  
  
No.  
  
_No no no no no no no no NO—!!!_  
  
“Jinwoo? Jinwoo, son? You okay there?” the old manager calls out, but Jinwoo feels as if that voice is far away. “You suddenly look pale as a ghost.”  
  
“I . . .” Jinwoo starts, his voice choked. “I’m fine, sir. Just . . . surprised, that’s all.”  
  
_Understatement of the year._  
  
-  
  
Jinwoo sits dazedly at the corner, hidden from everyone. He’s almost at his limit now—he can’t run away, nor can he escape. What would he say—that he was running away from a certain man thus he went to Wangdo? That he needed to stay away from him, to avoid the same curse from happening over and over again?  
  
He buries his head on his arms, and resists the urge to scream.  
  
_Does the universe hate me—for real?_  
  
_Why can’t I stay in just one universe in peace?_  
  
_Why can’t I just stay in one parallel universe where he and I can exist without this curse?!!_  
  
_Why can’t we just stay in one parallel universe where we could be together—with nothing looming over us?!!_  
  
Jinwoo can hold his screams, but he cannot muffle his sobs.  
  
\--  
  
**_1970_**  
  
_The first rays of dawn peeked through the curtains, but Jinwoo cared less for it. Instead, he buried his head closer to the man’s chest beside him, inhaling his scent._  
  
_Crisp cologne, musk, sex. It was perfect for him, and if given the chance to stay there, he definitely would._  
  
_The man held him closer, his lips brushing Jinwoo’s hair._  
  
_“Had a good sleep?” he asked, his voice gruff._  
  
_“Quite,” Jinwoo murmured, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist. “I prefer to be awake than asleep right now, honestly.”_  
  
_His companion chuckled. “Trying to seduce me with those words, now?”_  
  
_Jinwoo smiled teasingly at him. “Maybe?”_  
  
_In all honesty, Jinwoo really had no idea how he ended up in a stranger’s bed. He was just drinking alone at the pub, finishing his last glass of whiskey, when a **familiar** stranger sat beside him randomly. The next thing he knew, they were discussing about the freedom movement in the 70’s, then playing a few rounds of pool, then bar hopping across the streets of London—then kissing drunkenly in a dim alley._  
  
_And now, this._  
  
_Jinwoo knew this was a dangerous move, to let himself be caught within his spell and let himself drown in it. He knew it was a mistake, a tragedy about to unfold—but . . . he was helpless._  
  
_He missed him greatly, after all._  
  
_Jinwoo inched closer to his face, his fingers caressing his cheeks. Any minute now, he will be stolen away from his arms cruelly, and he’ll drown in regrets once more._  
  
_But at least, he could gamble this, right?_  
  
_“Hoon,” Jinwoo whispered, his eyes dampening with tears, “You . . .”_  
  
_“Yeah?” Hoon breathed back, his lips on the tip of Jinwoo’s nose._  
  
_With a kiss he whispered, “Even if this ends in a tragedy, know that you’re the only one who made me feel like this.”_  
  
**_Know that across universes and dimensions, my heart will only be for you._**  
  
_“What’s with the sentimental words, now, Jinwoo?” Hoon chuckled, and held Jinwoo closer to him. “Are you still drunk?”_  
  
_Jinwoo hid his face on the crook of Hoon’s neck, his tears starting to flow. He could feel it—anytime soon, anytime now, tick, tock, tick, tock . . ._  
  
_“Don’t worry, Jinwoo,” Hoon murmured. “As crazy as it sounds, as insane these words may be, I think I’m in love with you, too.”_

 _He shouldn’t have left that apartment room._  
  
_He shouldn’t have said his goodbye’s before he pulled back from Hoon’s arms._  
  
_He shouldn’t have left._  
  
_If he didn’t, would he have burned with him there?_  
  
_If he didn’t . . . would Hoon still live?_


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> endings are never absolute, at least it's what i believed in.

Lee Seunghoon didn’t visit that day, but he does a surprise appearance the next day.  
  
The sight of him is a painful, beautiful serving for Jinwoo—tall, proportionate features, with a deadly charm no one can resist.  
  
Jinwoo had seen him, met him, felt him for almost a million times, but every time he meets him, it’s as if he’d never met him before.  
  
“Is this the fish plant?” Seunghoon asks to himself, surveying the area. Meanwhile, Jinwoo struggles to look composed, just in case their eyes meet.  
  
Their eyes _do_ meet, and Seunghoon directly approaches him. Jinwoo isn’t sure if Seunghoon recognizes him or not; there have been times Seunghoon seems to recognize him, there have been times he does not.  
  
“You’re a worker here, right?” Seunghoon asks. “Can I speak to the manager? Where is he?”  
  
“He’s currently at the office talking to the accountant,” Jinwoo tells him. “But if you’d like, I’ll guide you to him.”  
  
_What the hell, Kim Jinwoo?_  
  
“Thank you,” Seunghoon nods, and they proceed to the office with Jinwoo leading.  
  
“How long have you been working here?” Seunghoon asks, his tone casual.  
  
“For almost a week now, sir,” Jinwoo replies, his gaze straight ahead.  
  
“Almost a week? I thought you’re a longtime worker here.”  
  
“I’d seen a poster about hiring more workers for the peak season, and I thought of applying last minute.”  
  
Their walk becomes quiet now, but Jinwoo can feel his gaze on him.  
  
Upon reaching the office, Jinwoo knocks and says, “Sir, Mr. Lee Seunghoon is here to speak to you.”  
  
“Let him in, let him in!” the manager calls out from the inside.  
  
Jinwoo opens the door and ushers Seunghoon in. Inside, it seems that the discussion with the accountant is almost over, with folders and documents scattered all over the place.  
  
Seunghoon frowns at the sight, and Jinwoo bites back a smile. _He still hates clutter, huh._  
  
“Ah, good day Mr. Lee!” the manager greets, his smile wry with embarrassment. “I’m sorry for the mess, I was just discussing with the accountant regarding your takeover.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Seunghoon says, but Jinwoo can see the irritation in his eyes.  
  
“Jinwoo! Get us some coffee and snacks, all right?” the manager orders Jinwoo.  
  
“Y-yes sir.”  
  
“Jinwoo,” Seunghoon murmurs to himself. He steals a glance at Jinwoo, who is already half-running outside the office, cursing the manager in his head.  
  
\--  
  
After Jinwoo served them coffee and biscuits, he immediately leaves, muttering an excuse to work. It is the peak season anyway, so maybe they’d understand.  
  
At work, he tries to distract his thoughts through working through the crates of fish and crab meat. It is a deadly, killing choice to linger on thoughts of him and Seunghoon in the past, and he knows that.  
  
At the same time, the gnawing feeling on his chest is too painful for Jinwoo to bear. It had been several years the last time he time traveled, and on those last years before he finally quit, he never saw Seunghoon even once.  
  
Or rather, he ran away from him the moment he hears or senses his presence within the dimension he’s in.  
  
He misses him so much, he longs for him too much it is suffocating. He longs to hear that carefree laughter and touch his hair and hold his hand and maybe eat some sushi while exchanging (savage) jokes—a million tiny things he’d once taken for granted and now a treasure he couldn’t hold.  
  
Jinwoo had met Seunghoon for a million times, in a thousand scenarios, in a hundred or more dimensions, and always, _always_ , every fiber of his being screamed for him. They’d crossed paths, by accident or probably intentional, and always, _always_ , every meeting starts with a fairytale.  
  
And always, _always_ , it ends in a tragedy.  
  
A tragedy of loss.  
  
\--  
  
It is past eleven in the evening when Jinwoo finishes, and he decides to retire and leave as quickly as possible. Anyway, most of the workers have left as well, and it may be a good idea to call it a day.  
  
His plans are screwed, however, when someone grabs his arm by the doorway. Turning, he freezes at the expression he sees in the man’s face.  
  
“You’re Jinwoo, aren’t you?” Seunghoon asks, his grip tight on Jinwoo’s arm. Jinwoo struggles, but stops when he realizes it is futile.  
  
“I am,” Jinwoo replies, glaring at him. “Why?”  
  
Seunghoon’s eyes widen in recognition, and narrows as he pulls Jinwoo closer to him. “Why?”  
  
“Why . . . what?”  
  
“Tell me why you always run away from me,” Seunghoon hisses, his eyes darkening.  
  
“Running away from you?”  
  
“You know what I’m talking about!” the taller man growls. “You vanished from Seoul all of a sudden—and now you’re trying to run away again, aren’t you?!”  
  
“What are you—”  
  
“Even then. Even _then_ , Kim Jinwoo! You _always_ run away from me, _you always leave me_!” Seunghoon’s voice is louder, slightly shaking with emotions he’s trying to hold.  
  
Jinwoo’s breath is knocked out of him, realizing what Seunghoon _truly_ meant. He is right, after all—everywhere, every time, every dimension, every timeline, Jinwoo _always_ ran away from him.  
  
After he realized the consequences.  
  
“Answer me now,” Seunghoon demanded in a lower tone, his eyes never leaving Jinwoo’s. “ _Why?_ ”  
  
Jinwoo finally finds the strength to push Seunghoon away from him, and steps back. “It is none of your business,” Jinwoo mutters.  
  
“None of my business!” Seunghoon exclaims in disbelief.  
  
“I did it for your own sake, Lee Seunghoon,” Jinwoo says slowly, stressing each word. “Not for myself.”  
  
“At least give me some valuable explanation—”  
  
“I already gave you one, haven’t I?”  
  
“That’s just complete _bullshit_!”  
  
“Bullshit or not, it is _still_ an explanation—!”  
  
“For _my_ own sake? Really?! You think everything has been easy for me—”  
  
“It _is_ easier when we are apart, Lee Seunghoon!”  
  
“I’m not accepting any of your bullshitting excuses now—”  
  
“Well you better do, because that’s the only thing I can say!” Jinwoo snaps in anger, his eyes burning with fury and restrained tears.  
  
In quick strides, Seunghoon grabs Jinwoo harshly by the collar, and with his free hand cups Jinwoo’s cheek and kisses him roughly. Jinwoo tries to pull away from him, whimpering, but Seunghoon only wraps one arm around his neck, the other around his waist.  
  
It isn’t long until he gives in, kisses him back with the same ferocity, and melts in his arms. He missed him so much, it was painful—almost excruciating. His touch, his kisses, his whispers—everything that was him . . .  
  
As much as he’d denied them all those years he never traveled anymore, he knows that at some point he will snap, and forget everything he’d been fighting for.  
  
That at some point, he will find Seunghoon again, and when he does—he won’t let him go.  
  
Jinwoo feels Seunghoon’s lips trace his cheeks, and he realizes that tears have finally oozed out from his eyes.  
  
“Say you’ll stay with me,” Seunghoon pleads, his soft voice gruff as he looks at Jinwoo. “Say you won’t leave me again.”  
  
Jinwoo shakes his head, sniffling, and pulls away from Seunghoon’s embrace. Seunghoon holds him closer, however, and all Jinwoo can do is to keep his eyes downcast.  
  
“Why?!” Seunghoon demands, anguish now clear in his voice. “All you have to do is stay with me, yet you deny me that—”  
  
“ _I don’t want to lose you!_ ” Jinwoo cries out, tears still flowing on his face. “I want you to _live_ , Seunghoon!”  
  
Seunghoon freezes, his face unreadable. “What?” he gasps.  
  
“In every lifetime, in every dimension or timeline where we’re in,” Jinwoo whispers, “you always die in front of me. Before I could even say the words or hold you closer and maybe have you, death always steals you away from me.”  
  
Seunghoon remains quiet, stunned by Jinwoo’s words.  
  
“Do you know how tormenting it is—to travel across dimensions and meet you then watch you die later on? Do you know unbearable it is, to visit you every time _but_ also aware that every single second with you is limited? Do you know how excruciating it is, to go in one dimension, travelling again and again, knowing that I will see you then meet you then fall in love with you then lose you _over and over again_ because of my own existence?!”  
  
Jinwoo lets himself go from Seunghoon’s arms, and steps back once more. “I wanted you to live, Seunghoon, which is why I always run before you see me, disappear before you even know me. It would be better to be like this—I cannot stand to be in a universe without you in it, so it is better to stay like this.”  
  
“You . . .” Seunghoon chokes. “Didn’t you even think of _me_?”  
  
Before Jinwoo can answer him back, Seunghoon tells him, in a pained tone. “Do you know hard it is, to always look for something you can’t point your finger into yet you go insane once you don’t find is? Do you know how difficult it is, to search for a faceless person that only appears in my dreams, only to realize it was gone? And do you know how heartbreaking it is, when you _realize_ what you’ve been looking for is just right in front of you yet it fades away _before_ you could even touch it?”  
  
Jinwoo is speechless at Seunghoon’s raw confession, and is unable to move even when Seunghoon walks slowly towards him.  
  
“Please stay with me,” Seunghoon begs once more. “ _Please_.”  
  
“I don’t want you to die,” Jinwoo says weakly, feeling his excuse as weak as his will.  
  
“At least we’re together, right?” he prods, his voice now hopeful.  
  
“Then leave me alone?” Jinwoo whispers brokenly. “I can’t have that, Seunghoon. I’ve had enough of that pain—don’t you think the million times I’d been on that situation isn’t enough?”  
  
“I will always come back to you—”  
  
“What if you don’t?” Jinwoo sobs. “I am not in some other person’s body now, Seunghoon—you see me as _me_ , not the person your soul sees every time. Not as the time-traveler me, Seunghoon. I can’t—I can’t just risk anything if that meant losing you for good, I can’t handle it!”  
  
“I will stay with you,” Seunghoon promises firmly. “Haven’t I promised that before?”  
  
“But—”  
  
Seunghoon seals his lips with his. “We will find a way, all right? We will find a way for us to stay together. Okay?”  
  
Jinwoo still looks at him doubtfully, his wide eyes fearful and agonized. At the same time, he knows he couldn’t stay away from Seunghoon forever, especially now that he has found him.  
  
Especially that his will has crumbled into dust the moment he saw him here again in Jeolla.  
  
Seunghoon reaches for Jinwoo’s hands and kisses them reverently. “Let me stay with you, Jinwoo. I won’t leave you again, I promise.”  
  
“Hold on to that,” Jinwoo says shakily, a smile ghosting on his lips. “Or I will forever run away from you for good.”  
  
With a kiss Seunghoon promises, “I won’t.”

  
  


Then again, promises, however fleeting or firm they may be, are maybe really made to be broken.


End file.
